My life is upside down God. The order of the world is out of place and I can’t do anything to right it again. Oh Lord you know the pain in my heart at all times and only you know why my child has died. How can it be that he is gone? The child I cared for with such concern in every illness, the one I held close to my heart and promised to take care of for a lifetime is not here for me to care for anymore. It hurts deeply that I wasn’t able to protect this child I loved with my whole being from a death that seems so unfair.
Let me feel calm. Let me breathe deeply. Be with me in this kind of deep and transformative pain. I now carry this darkness with me on my back and in my heart always. It is my burden and my companion.
Lord there is not a single minute of my life when this loss is not etched so keenly into my brain and heart, whether it is in the middle of a busy day or in those choking moments of grief in the solitary dark of night. Let me be grateful for every minute we had together. Let me treasure those memories and find joy in them.
Teach me Lord. Tell me what you want me to do with this. What am I supposed to learn from this kind of pain? What are you calling me to do?
Open my battered heart and lead me to comfort and peace. Only you can give me the peace I need. Let me feel your presence in my life.
6 comments:
Dear Lord,
I pray you provide the comfort and healing that this dear heart desires. Pull her close and keep her in Your loving arms through the dark times. Give her understanding and the peace that comes from knowing thy will. I ask this in Jesus's most precious name.
Amen
I think there is no greater pain than the loss of a child. I've witnessed this first hand with both sister-in-laws, one having lost her middle child and the other having lost two children, her oldest and youngest. I also know that only God can heal your hurt. I pray he will!
I know your pain all too well. I lost my beloved son, Michael, in May of this year. He would have been 42. It matters not how old or young they are, it still hurts beyond belief.
My God bless you in your journey through life without your child.
Bertie
My heart breaks for you. There is nothing I can say that will change the way you feel, so I won't even try.
Our son was stillborn 23 years ago and while I no longer feel that 'longing' and hurt every single day, every year on his birthday it hits us full force. My husband and I both say it gets worse each year. Now, I've decided to start looking at each year as "I'm just another year closer to seeing you," which upsets our other two children.
My prayer for you is that as each year passes you will feel a sense of peace in knowing that you, too, are one year 'closer.'
Kathie
It's past midnight. I cannot sleep..the pain you describe is so familiar. I also lost my 17-yr old son last year to sudden cardiac death and I am praying for serenity today. Finding your beautiful prayer was a blessing.
Coming across your prayer has been a blessing for me. I was in need if strength and looking for scripture I found your prayer. I To am a grieving mother. I lost my son on 12/ 13/12 To senseless violence. He was only 19. Barely came home from the Air Force To only be robbed n murdered. I try and find peace in knowing we will see each other again but it doesn't change the fact I want him back in my arms. I needed to hear your prayer for it gave a little bit if peace knowing other mothers truly know this emptiness I feel.
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